Changes
by madcap writer
Summary: How did Lily see the real James? Not by anything HE did. oneshot


If I was really selfish, I could have blamed it all on _them. _After all, they were the ones who convinced me to do it. _They_ gave me the make-up and clothes. It was _them_ I sat with at meals. _They _were the ones that lunged at the chance to reinvent Lily Evans.

But I knew that wasn't true. I was shallow, I'll admit, I _wanted_ it. I wanted people to stop looking at my as Lily Evans: The know-it-all. I wanted them to see that I could be just like them. I wanted to show them that I could fit into that mold they had created for 'pretty'. It's not as if I did it for friends, or for a boyfriend. I didn't need that kind of self gratification, no, I wanted the pleasure of showing them that even if they wanted me, I didn't want them. And the only way to get them to want me was to become one of them.

* * *

"_Come on, Lily, you have such thick hair! Let me straighten it just once. It will look so good!" said Laurie to me one day in charms._

"_It takes to long to straighten, and it will just frizz up again in an hour or two." I said, secretly enjoying the attention. _

"_Oh come on. Just once! I've got this new potion that guarantees anti-frizz for up to twelve hours! Please." She said_

_I pretended to consider it and, after a few long moments, said, "Fine. Just this ONE time." I answered, as if it was something I said grudgingly. _

That's how it all started.

Laurie was one of my few friends in the so-called popular group. She was a really nice person. She didn't have that all worldly 'I'm better than you' look upon her face. We originally sat together in Charms because neither of us had any friends in the class and after that we soon became friends. Not best friends, or even close friends, just friends.

Whenever we didn't have any spare time in that class we would talk about whatever. She would often comment on my hair. It is kind of nice hair. It's thick and has a slight curl to it, but it's just so frizzy that I can't do anything with it. I always leave it up in a ponytail, always. Once in a blue moon I could get it to smooth out a bit and it would look great, but I didn't have the patience for that, so I never bothered with it.

It wasn't the first time she had solicited to fix my hair. I had always made up some excuse to avoid the hours she would want to spend on it, but that day. I decided to indulge a little, I would let her mess with it for a while and maybe I could wear it down for a day or two.

Again, that's how it started.

* * *

"_Here, let me show you how it's done." I said jokingly to the rest of the Gryffindor girls, holding out my hand._

_We were have a little party in the dorm one Friday night and Casey had just poked her eye trying to apply eye-liner because Amy had tripped over her at just the wrong moment. We had all burst out laughing._

_The girls looked at me in slight amusement._

"_Right, Lily, like you've ever put on a touch of make-up in your life." Said Casey skeptically._

"_I have! Gimme, I'll prove it." I snapped. Laurie handed me the eye-liner. _

"_There. See." I said with a touch of pride after applying it perfectly. _

"_Aw, Lily, you look so pretty." Laurie sighed. _

"_Since when do you know how to do that?" asked Amy, still bemused. _

"_Since I was like, twelve. I do it all the time for the formal stuff my mother makes me go to, now, give me a cloth so I can wipe it off."_

"_But it looks good. You gotta wear it to school at least once."_

"_Ha! No." I answered._

" _Come on, I dare you." Challenged Laurie._

_Never one to back down, I responded "Fine!"_

And that's how the make-up began.

Laurie was ecstatic that I had actually agreed to it. I guess she really loved having me as her makeover project or something. After I tried her hair potion, I decided to keep using it. My hair really did look nice when it was down and shiny. She was thrilled.

Casey was pretty indifferent. She and Laurie were the best of friends. You always heard stories of them staying at the other's house for the holidays or extensive shopping trips. She and I on the other hand were merely tolerated acquaintances. We rarely ever talked except for the occasional 'good morning' which was pretty unavoidable considering we lived in the same room ten months out of the year. We didn't _dislike_ each other, we just didn't like each other much. It didn't surprise me that she couldn't care less about the changes I was making to my appearance. I guess she might have thought it funny that The Lily Evans was wearing make-up to school.

Amy was surprised but eager. Surprised because she was one of my good friends and knew how much I hated make-up and fancy, girly things. Of course, that wasn't much of a secret. All of Hogwarts pretty much knew that. She was eager because she knew how much it would annoy me to have to wear it all day. It wasn't that she took pleasure in my pain; she just knew how funny it would be to see me glare at innocent passer-bys for looking at me funny. And, as my good friend, it was her duty to poke fun at me every once in a while and she knew this was a perfect opportunity.

Me, I was a little excited. I couldn't wait to see the look on people's faces when they saw this whole different version of me. Oh, I _told_ people that I didn't want to do it and that I couldn't wait to take the stuff off, but I secretly wanted to keep it on.

So I did.

* * *

"_She sent me the wrong size again!" cried Casey after opening a package of clothing her mom had sent her. She held out a skirt. I checked the tag. _

"_You're not a two?" I asked in disbelief._

"_Nuh-uh, that's just one size too small. Mum keeps forgetting I grow. I was a two last year." _

"_That's unbelievable. _I'm _a two, you couldn't possibly be any bigger than me." I said. _

"_Believe it. Anyways. You want it? I can't wear it." Casey offered offhandedly. _

"_Oh… uh… no thanks. Where would I wear it anyways?" _

"_Take it. Wear it to the Hogsmead weekend or something. It would look good on you." She answered, a little more enthusiastic than usual. _

"_Um… okay." I said._

That weekend was the final stage of my 'transformation'.

I walked into the small town with my hair straight and sleek, my face artificially colored, and clothes with brand names.

I was ready. Ready to show all those snobs that I was better than them, and I would do it on their terms.

_They_ accepted me that day. I was allowed to sit with _them. _Only because I looked like them, but still.

* * *

_I walked down the halls on Monday with my head held high. I could see people staring at me, and I liked it. Some of the guys winked as they walked passed, but I rolled my eyes. I knew it was all in jest._

_I traced my regular path to the dungeons for potions class. Slughorn wasn't there yet and everyone was waiting out side, including the Marauders._

"_Hey, Lily." Remus said, as he always had greeted me. _

"_Hey, Remus." I responded._

"_Evans. Looking good." Sirius said, looking me up and down. He shot me a wink and I rolled my eyes again. _

_I looked to the last boy left (Peter hadn't gotten into NEWT Potions), "Potter" I said curtly. _

_He didn't say anything. He just looked at me with narrowed eyes. He continued that for some time. I began to feel uncomfortable. His eyes never left my face!_

_Behind me I heard the door open. Students began to file in. Potter walked by me shaking his head in… disappointment?_

My makeover lasted exactly one week. During those seven days I went completely against my personality, and yet, not enough to fit in with the self admired 'in' crowd.

True. I wore what they wore, I looked how they looked. But it didn't matter.

I wouldn't flirt shamelessly with all the guys, I wouldn't gossip with the girls. I would still try to fit in an intelligent conversation. I still wanted to get my homework done first thing after classes. I rolled my eyes at them too much for their liking.

They accepted me, but that didn't mean they liked me.

I then realized I wasn't friends with them for a reason. I couldn't stand them!

By day two I was already pining for my old group of friends, they at least had more then fifteen words in their vocabulary and could use them all correctly. Not to say that all these people weren't smart, most of them were fairly bright, but they were so lazy and unimaginative. I got so bored.

I also noticed someone else who like the old me sufficiently better than the new me.

James Potter.

That day in potions I was distracted the whole class trying to figure out what his look meant. The next few days went the same as that first encounter. He wouldn't say anything, just look at me with disappointment and sometimes disgust.

I finally understood that he showed me exactly what he was thinking. He was disappointed that I had changed myself to fit the stereotype of 'popular' and disgusted that I was almost enjoying it.

It took me even longer to come to the realization that, however cliché it sound, James Potter liked me for who I truly am.

I liked the feeling that came with that realization.

Although I was sad that I wouldn't be able to reject _them_ like I had originally planned, I had to quit the game. I just couldn't take one more day of mindless conversation.

Besides, I thought to myself, what better way to reject them than to leave them for the 'losers'.

* * *

_I was back in my old attitude. The make-up was washed off and the hair was up. My old group took me back in moment and acted as if nothing had happened. I loved 'em for it. I still walked the corridors with my head held high because I had always done that and by now, I couldn't care less what people thought. _

_A messy-haired boy walked past me. _

"_Hey, Lily."_

"_Hey, James."_

* * *

**Ummm... Please review. 'Ca****use I don't even know what to think of it.**


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